What are Normal Reactions to Grief?

Although grief is a normal response to loss, sometimes it can produces some pretty bizarre behaviors, you might feel like you’re freaking out, which can be frightening to you and of concern to others. First off let me explain what we mean by “a normal response”.  In grief nothing seems normal, having your loved one here is what’s normal, but now nothings is normal, your loved one is gone and life is abnormal. So in this abnormality, your reactions are normal.  Grief can produce some extreme reactions, and though you might have never expressed emotions like this, just tell yourself that right now life is abnormal, and in the face of this abnormality your reactions are normal.

 Every person will grieve in his or her own unique way.  You may find that some of the following descriptions fit you.  Regardless of what others may think, you are absolutely normal, and you are behaving in a manner which is typical of grief.

Not all of these behaviors are healthy, and some may need to be changed, but they are understandable and do not indicate “insanity”.

• Unable to find consolation in your faith

•  Angry at the medical personnel for not doing enough or not having the technology to save your loved one

•  Angry at yourself for not properly interpreting the warning signs or the statements made by your loved one

•  Angry at the deceased for dying; for not taking better care of him or herself; for leaving you alone at this time in your life; for not making proper financial/legal arrangements

•  Unable to sleep without medication or sleeping all the time

•  Change in eating habits with significant weight gain/loss

•  More susceptible to colds, flu, and other physical ailments

•  Unable to motivate yourself to do the things you need to do

• Unable to problem-solve or make decisions

•  Unable to concentrate or remember things

•  Finding yourself to be always on the edge of irritability

•  Experiencing unpredictable and/or uncontrollable weeping

•  Fearful of being alone or with people; afraid to leave the house and fearful of staying in the house; afraid to sleep in bed

•  Wanting to “punish” someone or damage something for your pain

•  Angry that no one seems to understand what you are suffering; angry that people expect you to “get on with your life;” angry at yourself for not being able to function as you have prior to the death; angry that you are not given the time you need to grieve

•  Feelings of frustration that people are indulging you or not giving you enough attention; that you are not invited out anymore or that people are pushing you to socialize before you are ready

•  Angry that people can still laugh, that the world dares to go on, that holidays are not canceled, that Sundays are so miserable

•  Feelings of guilt over little relationship issues which would not normally be a problem

•  Experiencing panic attacks

•  Wanting to talk about the deceased but fearful of rejection

•  Wearing clothing, jewelry, or other personal items of the deceased

•  Feel that loneliness and aloneness are more than you can bear

•  Notice an increase in the use of alcohol and/or prescription drugs to ease the pain

•  Driving too fast or recklessly

•  Find yourself screaming for no apparent reason

•  Impaired judgment

 If  you find yourself having any of these symptoms then you are experiencing a normal reaction to your grief.

 If you fear that your reactions are more intense then what normal should be considered, then you might want to talk with a grief specialist to make sure that you rare grieving in a healthy manner.

Please feel free to contact us, we will be happy to assist you in your grief journey.

Be sure to contact us regarding our on-line Grief Group meetings.

These groups have proven to be very helpful.